Change Your Life in 2019 - Week 1

It Starts With
Contentment. 

Accept it

If you’re like me, you always want more out of business and out of life. I’m constantly trying to make things better, whether personally or professionally. This drive led me upon a universal truth that seems to always rings true: if you really want things to change, first accept where they are. Before your mind intuitively shuts this simple concept down, I am not proposing you need to flip a switch and make yourself happy with how things are. And I am not suggesting that you slow down your drive to make your life better. I am merely advising that if you want circumstances to change for the better, you first have to accept where they are now. 

Here’s why:

When we focus solely on the change we want to make, we focus on a future that doesn’t exist. 

Focusing on only the change pulls us away from reality, which makes it harder to actually impact our current reality. I noticed this for the first time when I worked for a fortune 200 company right out of grad school. It should have been perfect: I landed the ideal job for my newly minted degree, in a world-class company only twenty minutes from home, with great coworkers and incredible benefits. However, within the first week, I knew it wasn’t for me. I was miserable there, and not because there was anything wrong with the company or position, but because it wasn’t right for me at that time in my life. I became depressed and obsessed with changing my circumstances. I started by transforming my office, making it my ideal workspace. It was complete with a coffee bar and more plants than a botanical garden. When that didn’t satisfy I became obsessed with finding the perfect tool to make work more efficient. When I found the right technology, it still didn’t fill the hole in my soul. I tried at least fifty subtle life changes like these to “make things better,” and nothing worked. This underlying discontent affected my personal and professional life, and it slowly became apparent that I wasn’t focusing on the right kind of change. I began to feel desperate. Then, everything shifted when I decided to fast for clarity. After two weeks of fasting, I felt mentally refreshed, and realized what needed to change was...my perspective about my current reality. 

I was trying to change tangible details about my work life to make myself happier, but I realized I needed to make a small change in my perspective. I needed to focus on what I have, not what I lack. I needed to focus on finding joy through contentment.

I then realized that:

[Contentment is not the same as happiness.] 

[Contentment leads to happiness, but they are not synonymous.]

The shift signaled to me the need to stop focusing on my self-pity and start focusing on becoming content.

Then something crazy happened.
Two weeks later and out of the blue, I received an offer for my dream job. This was the opportunity that launched me into becoming a Performance Coach. When our energy is focused on forcing change, we miss the essence of life. It is only when we learn to find contentment in the present that we can find joy in the future. 

Contentment vs. Happiness

I realized where my mindset shifted. I wasn’t happy in my present situation, but I made a conscious effort to find contentment in it. The difference between contentment and happiness is two-fold: they aren’t the same feeling, but you need one as the foundation for the other. Instant happiness is unrealistic and fleeting, but discovering ways to be content in your present life leads to a new optimism and hope for new opportunities, fresh beginnings, and a route to daily happiness in what you are doing or working toward. 

I’m not claiming that you suddenly need to change your perspective and magically be content with your job, or your weight, or your finances. But, discovering a new sense of contentment by hoping for the future, focusing on what you are learning presently, and knowing that the current state is temporary is an empowering start. Opening yourself up to the idea of a daily lifestyle where you are happy rather than forcing change in your present situation can be a refreshing perspective shift that is more effective and necessary than flipping a switch toward happiness. 

So what’s the takeaway? 

If you want to change your personal or professional life, start with accepting contentment. You can change the world starting with firm, soul contentment. Think about it in terms of sailing. If we aren’t content first, we’re like a ship thrown about the waves with no wind in our sails, being tossed without direction. Contentment steadies the boat and fills our internal sails with perspective and hope, so we can set course in the direction of creating and developing the life we want. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “What lies in front of you and what lies behind you, pales in comparison to what lies inside you.” Start internally by growing your mindset for contentment, and watch opportunities and progress unfold, leading you to growth, development, and true happiness. 

Try it this week and let me know if things don’t begin to radically shift towards the better.